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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?